


Post-Movie AU: Logs

by kilewolf, zarinthel



Series: Gintama RP Adventures [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, Gen, References to suicidal ideation, will add more tags when I'm feeling more sentient
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilewolf/pseuds/kilewolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarinthel/pseuds/zarinthel
Summary: Assorted transcriptions of some of my Gintama post-movie universe RP chat logs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been intending on transcribing and posting these for ages, but never got around to it... an overall info post about this universe and its underlying meta will eventually be added as a prologue chapter. But for now here are the barebone basics:
> 
> \- A glitch occurred during the timeline reset, and the older movie Gintoki was accidentally transported to the newly established "clean" timeline. Meanwhile, the other characters gained memories of those 5 years (aka KHR ex Machina).  
> \- There are now two Gintokis living in Edo. It's very strange for everyone involved, and the older Gintoki is passed off as the weird uncle character from... somewhere.  
> \- Being host to the Enmi for 5 years put severe strain on Gintoki's body and mind, so post-movie Gintoki is very... floaty, as he slowly trudges along the recovery process. Mostly, his consciousness isn't used to being at the forefront for so long (All The Time All The Time), so after a while he needs to either take a nap or zone out. He also gets tired out and overstimulated easily.  
> \- Not to worry, because he's very well taken care of. Actually, everyone throws normal Gintoki to the dogs to fuss over the movie one.  
> \- Takasugi tracked Enmi!Gintoki down and confronted him. He tried to kill Gintoki for his own sake, but lost because he was weakened by the plague, and ended up being killed instead. They both harbour a lot of guilt towards each other for this, but Takasugi would never allow Gintoki to apologize.  
> \- The Earth was heavily quarantined for those 5 years and Sakamoto was never able to sneak past the quarantine line.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki's watching the water.)

TAKASUGI: Gintoki.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki blinks, startled. His head turns automatically, even as his brain takes several long seconds of staring blankly at Takasugi to process the fact that Takasugi is, in fact, standing right here in front of him.)

GINTOKI: …Takasugi? What are you doing here?

TAKASUGI: Didn't I say I was buying a house?

GINTOKI:

> (Did he?)

GINTOKI: Tch. Can't believe you're really staying in Kabukicho.

TAKASUGI:

> (He doesn't remember.)

TAKASUGI: Edo, Gintoki. Why would I choose to live in the red light district?

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki turns back to watch the water again.)

GINTOKI: Why not? It suits your trashy personality.

TAKASUGI: Like you’re one to talk. I think you already blend in too well, Gintoki. Can you even tell yourself apart from the trash you throw out?

GINTOKI: Shinpachi is the one who does the household chores.

GINTOKI:

> (Technically speaking, Gintoki should never be thrown away with the combustible or non-combustible trash. He'd need to be disposed of in a special way, like batteries.
> 
> Never know when he might start leaking once he gets old.)

TAKASUGI: Typical.

TAKASUGI:

> (Gintoki's less frayed than last time, but he's drifting. This older one always drifts. Like old bandages, like white flags.
> 
> Takasugi sighs.)

TAKASUGI: Want to hear something amusing? Zura came to see me.

GINTOKI: Huh?

GINTOKI:

> (Why would Zura go see Takasugi?)

TAKASUGI: He told me not to "distress you.”

TAKASUGI:

> (What a laugh.)

GINTOKI:

> (Zura’s as stupid as always.)

GINTOKI: You? Distress me? I’d like to see you try.

TAKASUGI:

> (He could.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki knows he could. But it doesn't matter.
> 
> Gintoki doesn't really care about being distressed these days.)

TAKASUGI: What a waste of my time.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi tugs at the hair covering his eye. Some kind soul had told him how Zura had chosen to remember him, and it itched at him.
> 
> What a terrible grave. Zura’s always had awful taste.)

TAKASUGI: He's an idiot, but the kind you need to keep an eye on.

GINTOKI:

> (Keep an eye on Zura...? Sounds like far too much trouble.)

GINTOKI: Mm. Have fun with that.

TAKASUGI: I didn’t expect you to do any work to begin with, you lazy bastard.

TAKASUGI:

> (That’s the way the calendar works, after all. Gintoki only does work on Sunday, when he wants to.)

GINTOKI:

> (It feels nice to exchange barbs like this. It grounds him.)

GINTOKI: I'm still Yorozuya, you know. If you want me to work you'll have to pay me at least 300 yen.

TAKASUGI: 300 yen? Can you even buy JUMP with that?

GINTOKI: I have a savings fund for JUMP.

TAKASUGI: Oh, it really is sad to live as a cockroach.

TAKASUGI:

> (He's missing too much information on all the things that happened after he died. He'll have to ask around.)

GINTOKI:

> (Cockroaches, huh? Those survived everything about the end of the world. Earth's greatest survivors, indeed.)

GINTOKI: Oi, apologize to cockroaches. Apologize to Earth's greatest sur...

GINTOKI:

> (He trails off.
> 
> Huh? Has he said this somewhere before?)

TAKASUGI: Apologize? Oh, I see. I'm sorry, mister cockroach. You look a lot like a certain perm-haired bastard I know, so I got you confused.

TAKASUGI:

> (He trailed off again.)

GINTOKI:

> (He shakes it off.)

GINTOKI: Oh, did you confuse me for the guy who lives above that bar by any chance? Don't worry about it, people always say we look like twins.

TAKASUGI:

> (…Oi.)

TAKASUGI: Another cockroach of this size? This place must have an infestation.

GINTOKI: No, that was an old chapter. We already did that.

GINTOKI:

> (When was that again...? Back in the 100s... No, earlier?
> 
> His train of thought is getting derailed.)

TAKASUGI: As if I made enough appearances back then to do more than excite the readers.

GINTOKI:

> (If he thinks about it in terms of the anime… Was it episode 26? No... 28? Who even remembers these things?)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi settles down into the grass. This peace isn’t bad, but he still has questions.)

TAKASUGI: Hey, Gintoki. You used to be pretty good at predicting Zura, didn’t you?

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki blinks. There's a moment of imbalance, of not knowing what they're talking about, where they are, which world he’s in--before things solidify again and he remembers what he's doing.)

GINTOKI: …Was I?

TAKASUGI: Well, better than most.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi tips his head towards the sky.)

TAKASUGI: Why'd he wear those bandages, Gintoki?

TAKASUGI:

> (Did he take his eye out?)

GINTOKI:

> (Oh.
> 
> How does he answer this?)

GINTOKI: ...It was probably, you know.

GINTOKI: Cosplay.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki didn't do anything to him. So he doesn't know.)

GINTOKI: He's always been dramatic with his aesthetics.

GINTOKI:

> (He can't give Takasugi the definitive answer he wants.)

GINTOKI: I doubt it was anything… more serious than that.

GINTOKI:

> (Even if he’d seen, how could he say for certain? All he remembers is flashes and blurry impressions, for five long, long years.)

TAKASUGI: ...Cosplay, huh.

TAKASUGI:

> (He hadn’t thought Zura would take his death that badly in any universe.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki thinks about Zura a lot.
> 
> He hasn't really questioned things like "why did he wear bandages", though.
> 
> Why does anything wear bandages?
> 
> Why did they(he)?
> 
> Who knows.
> 
> Gintoki stares down at his hands.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi's eye throbs. He once tried to put his bandages back on. It had felt like cosplay.)

GINTOKI:

> (The first days, he'd actually gone to cover his arms up again on instinct, only stopping when an aghast Shinpachi asked him what he was doing.
> 
> They'd trained his body well, at least.
> 
> Now it feels like a novelty to have the summer breeze blow over his bare skin.)

TAKASUGI:

> (He used to only change them when they got bloodstained. His eye had healed perfectly? As if. Phantom pains at night, agony in daylight.
> 
> Though the doctor had claimed it was all psychosomatic.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki blinks blearily, realizing they've been silent for a while now. He looks over at Takasugi, who looks...
> 
> He looks back up at the sky. Blue with fluffy clouds. A perfect day, just like every one this week. It feels fake, like it was painted on by well-wishers.
> 
> How would the other him have said it, once upon a time?
> 
> He doesn't think he'll ever remember.)

GINTOKI: Zura's a dumbass, but I don't think he's ever done anything strategically stupid on purpose.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi jerks out of his thoughts.
> 
> Stupid, stupid.)

TAKASUGI: …Yeah, he’s like that.

TAKASUGI: Hey. Your kids know Zura pretty well, right?

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki thinks about it for a moment.)

GINTOKI: Yeah?

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi considers whether his peace of mind is worth subjecting himself to that.
> 
> They're Gintoki's brats, so they're probably stupid and destructive and remember lots of details Zura wishes they didn't.)

GINTOKI:

> (Does this count as buck-passing?)

TAKASUGI: I'll drop by.

GINTOKI: ...You've completely become the Piccolo type character, huh?

TAKASUGI: Shut up.

TAKASUGI:

> (So what if he has? He's already living with too many examples of villains who decided to take the easy way out.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki smiles, just a tinge bittersweet.
> 
> He supposes he doesn't quite qualify.
> 
> He's something in the middle as always.
> 
> Or maybe he's just leftovers.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Well, at least he's not being compared to S*suke. He'd have to kill Gintoki for that.)

GINTOKI:

> (Something suddenly occurs to him.
> 
> A thought he'd had once, or maybe more than once.
> 
> But there's no way he can voice it. Not on such a beautiful day.)

GINTOKI: Hey, Takasugi.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi has a sudden, terrible feeling.)

…Yeah?

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki opens his mouth, then closes it.)

GINTOKI: ...No, nevermind.

GINTOKI:

> (He's just being selfish.
> 
> He has no right to ask anything of anyone.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi turns to face Gintoki.)

TAKASUGI: Oi, Gintoki.

TAKASUGI:

> (He doesn't actually know why he's prodding Gintoki to say something that will undoubtedly be awful.
> 
> Well, he can't say he's never done something just to suffer.)

TAKASUGI: What is it?

GINTOKI:

> (It really is so like Takasugi to keep poking at something he knows will hurt.
> 
> But Gintoki's tired of hurting his friends.)

GINTOKI: ...Forget it. It wasn't anything important.

TAKASUGI: ...Tch.

TAKASUGI:

> (He's a bit relieved, though. He's already opened up enough old wounds today.
> 
> Distress Gintoki, his ass. Eat shit, Zura. He’s the one getting distressed here.)

GINTOKI:

> (Sometimes Gintoki thinks his friends would all be better off if they never had to see his curse-ridden face again.)

GINTOKI: The water's really clear today.

GINTOKI:

> (He likes watching the river.
> 
> The water looks so cool, fresh, and inviting, even though he knows there's probably all kinds of toxic pollutants in it. No matter how polluted it gets, water is traditionally supposed to be something cleansing, right?
> 
> Maybe that’s why he just wants to take a splash in it.
> 
> It’s not deep enough for him to struggle. There's just something about summer that makes you want to get all wet.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi looks down at the water. It's pretty, he supposes.)

GINTOKI:

> (He can't do that if he's wearing anything bulky, though. But he isn't, right? Just a plain, simple yukata. Easy to slip off.
> 
> Gintoki looks at the water with tired resignation and longing, chin on the arm slung over his knee.
> 
> He’d like to be clean.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi looks from Gintoki to the water and then back again.
> 
> Should he do it?
> 
> Takasugi considers his dignity versus the splash for exactly two seconds and then gives Gintoki a firm shove.)

GINTOKI: Wh--

TAKASUGI:

> (He was right, it made a great splash.
> 
> He can't help it. He laughs.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki splutters indignantly, flailing his arms in a most undignified manner as he gets himself up again. He's soaked, in the probably-really-polluted river water.)

GINTOKI: You--!

GINTOKI: What the hell was that for, you bastard!?

GINTOKI:

> (How many years has it been since he's heard that laugh?
> 
> More than five.
> 
> Something in his chest unknots a little.)

TAKASUGI: Whaaat, Gintoki, can't take a little water?

GINTOKI: You know I can't swim, bastard!

GINTOKI:

> (Something’s making his eye sting.
> 
> It's just river water.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Gintoki looks like a wet cat. Takasugi clutches his stomach, and keeps laughing.)

GINTOKI:

> (A memory rises to the surface of his mind.
> 
> This isn’t a dream, is it?)

TAKASUGI: Is this your true form? A drowning cat?

GINTOKI:

> (Even if it is, if they're all dead and this is the afterlife, that wouldn’t be so bad.)

GINTOKI: Shut up. I'm not drowning. The water's only knee-high here, see?

TAKASUGI: Oh? You’re not drowning? Then what was all that fuss about not knowing how to swim about, bastard? Need some little floaties for your arms?

TAKASUGI:

> (Gintoki’s sounding like himself again.
> 
> Gintoki’s smile from just now replays over and over in some corner of his head like a gentle ghost.)

GINTOKI: Shut up! There's nothing wrong with floaties! Every samurai should be equipped with the proper accessories to deal with a given situation!

GINTOKI:

> (It's like the words are springing out by themselves.
> 
> Is this what it feels like to feel like himself? Or is this what it feels like to be himself?)

TAKASUGI: Proper accessories? Need a little snorkeling tube too, while you're at it?

TAKASUGI:

> (It feels so easy, it’s startling.
> 
> Is this how it’s supposed to feel, sensei?)

GINTOKI: Snorkeling has nothing to do with swimming! There ain't nothing to look at underwater here except for plastic bags and litter! You'd know the difference if you ever went to the beach, you emo bastard!

TAKASUGI: Go to the beach? With my complexion? Isn't that for people who've been banned from the public pool?

TAKASUGI:

> (He can't imagine a beach that could be better than this dirty little riverbank.)

GINTOKI: Who're you accusing of being banned from the public pool?

GINTOKI: I'll have you know I even worked as a lifeguard once.

TAKASUGI: ……………The mind boggles.

TAKASUGI:

> (Who the hell would hire Gintoki for that?)

GINTOKI:

> (He can't believe he managed to get hired for that.)

GINTOKI: I was great at my job, you know.

GINTOKI: No one even died.

TAKASUGI: ...Did you even let anyone into the water?

TAKASUGI:

> (He’s seen and done a lot over the years, but he can’t imagine this.)

GINTOKI: Of course!

GINTOKI: It took a while to get all the annoying bystanders out, but eventually we were able to enjoy the pool to ourselves.

TAKASUGI:

> (...Ah.)

GINTOKI:

> (He'd forgotten about this, but it's a nice memory.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi realizes he's still smiling. His face feels strange.)

GINTOKI:

> (Whenever he blinks, he sees the image of his friend from the Joui War.)

TAKASUGI: A lifeguard that can’t swim, huh...

GINTOKI:

> (The hilarity of the moment has passed. He smiles, and it's only a little bit sad.)

GINTOKI: Yeah. Got a problem with it?

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi settles down on the riverbank, dropping his feet into the river.)

GINTOKI:

> (It's beyond surreal to see Takasugi dipping his feet in the water like some curious kid.
> 
> It's moments like these that make Gintoki glad he survived after all.)

GINTOKI: ...In the summer, you just gotta go to the beach, right?

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi wouldn't know.)

TAKASUGI: Sure. That's what kids like, hm?

GINTOKI: Yeah. I took Shinpachi and Kagura once.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki smiles fondly at the memory.
> 
> They're such good kids.)

GINTOKI: If you and I ever went, though, we'd probably start fighting and cause such a scene that they'd kick us out...

GINTOKI:

> (He splashes through the water, heading back onto the bank. He sits down next to Takasugi, not close enough that people looking from afar would mistake them from friends, but close enough that… well.
> 
> Close enough.)

GINTOKI: So I guess we'll just have to settle for this smelly old riverbank, huh?

TAKASUGI:

> (Going to the beach with Gintoki? He'd never imagined that, not even in the false dreams he has of a world where his life didn't burn down around him.)

TAKASUGI: Settle? I guess we'll have to.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki is so, so tired. But he's also happy.
> 
> He can't help it. A tiny little laugh bubbles out of him as he crosses his arms over his knees.)

GINTOKI: Maybe we should invite Zura too. Make it a three-idiot party.

TAKASUGI:

> (For some reason, Takasugi is reminded of the first time he won against Gintoki. Not the part where people congratulated him, though. The part where Gintoki found him again when the sun was beginning to set and invited him back for the first time.)

TAKASUGI: A three-idiot party?

GINTOKI:

> (A small, warm smile, aimed at nothing in particular.)

GINTOKI: Yeah. We'll all come over here with our little arm floaties and try to drown each other in the river.

TAKASUGI: Then I suppose I've already won the first one.

TAKASUGI:

> (Might as well go for the full victory. He’s already lost the most important one, after all.)

TAKASUGI: I'll drag Zura down here myself.

GINTOKI: Heh... Planning on ambush him, are you? I’d be careful if I were you. Who knows how he'll take it.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki would pay to watch.)

GINTOKI: Well, I don't plan on getting Zura involved with my match record with you.

GINTOKI:

> (He looks up at the sun, nostalgic.
> 
> He's forgotten many, many things over the years, but nothing this important.)

GINTOKI: 276 wins, 276 losses, and 1 draw... right?

TAKASUGI:

> (277 losses, Takasugi wants to say. But that never happened, right? So it's okay, then. To let the scoreboard reset. To let it lie.)

TAKASUGI: That's right.

GINTOKI:

> (That's all Gintoki ever wanted to hear.
> 
> He closes his eyes again, and lets himself flop onto his back, arms stretched out in a starfish position. He probably looks stupid as hell, but he doesn't give a fuck.)

GINTOKI: All right. Then the next time we come out here, I'm going to break the tie and make you swallow river water.

GINTOKI: You better prepare yourself.

TAKASUGI:

> (Break the tie, huh?)

TAKASUGI: As if I'd let you, bastard.

GINTOKI:

> (There's no worth to a title like "the strongest" when you're alone.)

GINTOKI: Like you could stop me.

TAKASUGI: I'll kick you back in right now, if you want to drink river water that badly.

TAKASUGI:

> (Actually, he doesn't feel like moving, in case this moment turns out to be as fragile as all the other ones he’s held close to his chest over the years.)

GINTOKI:

> (I'm calling your bluff, you bastard.)

GINTOKI: Uh-huh. Just try it, and I'll kick your ass to Kagura’s home planet.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi raises an unimpressed eyebrow at Gintoki.)

TAKASUGI: You couldn't even kick me into the river.

GINTOKI: Stuuuupid. I'm saving _that_ for the party.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki stretches. It's probably a bad idea not to dry off after tumbling into the river, but the sun is so warm, he thinks it's probably fine to let himself dry the old-fashioned way.
> 
> Heh. Leftovers. Maybe he's more like old laundry instead?
> 
> But no one's ever going to wear him again but himself.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi lets his eye drift shut.)

TAKASUGI: Keep telling yourself that, bastard.

GINTOKI: I will! I'll be doing everyone in the neighbourhood a public service by putting that ugly face underwater.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi flips him off.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki’s field of vision is nothing but the sky right now, but he hears the rustle of cloth and knows Takasugi flipped him off. He sticks his tongue out like a brat.
> 
> Hahaha. Oh, if Shouyou could see them now, he’d be so happy.
> 
> Maybe this is all Gintoki needs, in the end.)

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: sorry for referencing things you guys have no context for. This is both my and your fate.
> 
> also... hurray for baby's first "multi-chapter" fic lol

TAKASUGI: ...The rooftop, again?

TAKASUGI:

> (He settles down near Gintoki.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki doesn't turn around. He knows who it is.
> 
> He's seated at the very edge of the roof, legs dangling down in open air.)

GINTOKI: Mm.

TAKASUGI: How quaint.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi likes it up here, on the roof. It had always been Gintoki's place, during the war. It's strange to think he could have sat there then, as he chooses to now.)

GINTOKI:

> (It's been a long time. But Gintoki doesn't bother mentioning that.)

GINTOKI: On days like this, I just want to sit here.

TAKASUGI: ...Typical.

TAKASUGI:

> (He should work more vitriol into the conversation, he thinks. But it’s hard for him to anchor himself, these days. The fading hatred, rage, despair... it's nothing worth holding onto.)

GINTOKI:

> (It's funny. Takasugi never picks the good days to come see him. Gintoki thinks that maybe they just have trouble on the same days.
> 
> And then they find each other.)

GINTOKI: Hahaa...... I've gotten pretty old, you know?

GINTOKI:

> (Or at least he feels like it.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi flicks an annoyed glance at him.)

TAKASUGI: Old? Trying to make me feel my bones, Gintoki? Shut up.

GINTOKI:

> (He's missed him.
> 
> It's one of those realizations that makes you sad every time you remember, even though it's been so many times already.)

TAKASUGI:

> (The stomach wound that Oboro gave him woke him up that morning. Damn thing.)

GINTOKI:

> (Geez. Today is a sentimental day, it seems.
> 
> Though it wasn’t his intention, he falls quiet for a long moment after Takasugi's quip.)

TAKASUGI: ... Oi, Gintoki. Don’t listen to me only when it’s inconvenient.

TAKASUGI:

> (Don't leave me alone with my thoughts, bastard.)

GINTOKI:

> (Sorry, Takasugi... The line between past, future, and present is a little difficult to navigate today.
> 
> He doesn't feel quite right in his body on this sunny afternoon.)

GINTOKI: Uh-huh.

TAKASUGI: I talked to Gintoki the other week.

GINTOKI:

> (He'd dip his head in acknowledgment if he had the energy.)

GINTOKI: That so?

TAKASUGI: ...I think having two heads has made you even more stupid.

GINTOKI: Maybe.

TAKASUGI: ...Why’re you complaining about being old, anyway?

GINTOKI: Wasn’t complaining.

TAKASUGI: I told you already—that ugly permy white hair looks just the same as it always has.

GINTOKI:

> (...)
> 
> (He smiles a soft, sad smile.)

GINTOKI: S'that so...?

GINTOKI:

> (He’d forgotten about the hair.)

TAKASUGI: Making me keep having to tell you obvious things like that...

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi doesn't mind.)

GINTOKI:

> (It's hard to tell if the silence that stretches out between them again can be called comfortable. At least, Gintoki has no idea if it's comfortable to Takasugi. Gintoki himself would be content to just stay like this until he rotted.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi exhales, mildly inconvenienced by the fact that since he’s always the one that tracks Gintoki down, he can't bring anything with him or it would look too planned.
> 
> ...He'll bring the shamisen next time.)

TAKASUGI: …It's such a pain.

GINTOKI: …

TAKASUGI: ...

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi glares at Gintoki. It seems like he's even less present than usual, which is unacceptable, because Takasugi’s made the effort to come all this way for him.
> 
> He reaches over to wave a hand in front of Gintoki's face.)

TAKASUGI: Oi.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki doesn't react for a moment. Then a vaguely surprised look crosses his face, and he turns to look at Takasugi for the first time since he arrived.)

GINTOKI: Oh... you're still here.

GINTOKI:

> (It's a bad attempt at a joke.)

TAKASUGI: ...Fall off already, bastard.

GINTOKI: Mm...

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki turns back to look down at the street. It isn't high enough to give him vertigo.)

GINTOKI: ...Don't think I'd die.

GINTOKI:

> (A bit of a recurring problem he’s had over the last five years.)
> 
> (…I’m sorry, Takasugi.
> 
> Wish I'd managed to tell you that properly the first time we met here.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi grabs his arm. If his grip is a little tight, then Gintoki deserves the discomfort. It’s just, whatever, right?)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki blinks slowly at him.)

TAKASUGI: Fuck off.

GINTOKI:

> (He looks at him blankly.
> 
> It takes a moment to realize what’s ruffled Takasugi’s feathers.
> 
> Oops.)

TAKASUGI: Why do you only listen when it’s inconvenient...

TAKASUGI:

> (It's exhausting.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki does remember the way Takasugi sounded, back then.
> 
> It's a harrowing sound to carry around with you all day. They might make him a bit more amenable to listening to Takasugi's requests than any self-respecting Gintoki should be.
> 
> Realizing that doesn't make it any easier to stop, though.)

GINTOKI: ...Sorry.

GINTOKI:

> (This Takasugi looks so old and young at the same time.)

TAKASUGI:

> (That's right, isn't it? This Gintoki already knows what Takasugi would sound like if he said "please" again.
> 
> Takasugi has long since decided not to acknowledge any words like that from Gintoki's mouth.)
> 
> (He drags Gintoki away, back towards the center of the roof.)

TAKASUGI: You're so annoying.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki lets himself be manhandled.)

GINTOKI: ...Ehh. Not as much as you.

TAKASUGI:

> (He should just drop him over the edge after all. Reform is beyond this one’s character.)

GINTOKI:

> (He just sits limply, lost in thought.
> 
> It used to be, with Takasugi, that present and past were crisscrossed in a mess of pain and resolve that was so scrambled as to be unintelligible, but somehow it had still made sense to both of them. But now... he doesn't even know what to consider that ruined future. His past? This world's future? Something more parallel, adjacent to the here and now?
> 
> Either way, the present, now... The present Takasugi isn't one he needs to step over.
> 
> Not that Gintoki thinks he could ever do it again, even if he tried.)

TAKASUGI: ...You're not even listening to me. Unbelievable. I'll...

TAKASUGI:

> (I'll tell Shouyou-sensei, huh.
> 
> No better threat comes to mind.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki turns his head.
> 
> His voice comes out quiet.)

GINTOKI: You're alive.

GINTOKI:

> (Otae's hair, last time he saw her, was still a healthy brown.
> 
> The Terminal stretches out tall and proud before them.
> 
> And Takasugi left, after last time's fuck-up.
> 
> But he came back.)

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi remembers two deaths now. But that, he supposes, is all the more proof.)

TAKASUGI: ...We're both alive, Gintoki.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki blinks, surprised, at that.
> 
> Oh.
> 
> It's true.
> 
> He's alive... that in itself is no great feat. Only one person could ever manage to kill him.
> 
> But... they're both alive. Together, at the same time, close enough to touch.
> 
> That's a miracle.)

TAKASUGI: Only alive people get to complain about being old, Gintoki. That's how it works.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki looks at his hands.
> 
> The marks where runes were etched into his skin have faded to a faint red rather than ugly purple, but he never forgets.)

GINTOKI: ...Yeah.

GINTOKI: You're right about that.

TAKASUGI: Of course I'm right.

TAKASUGI:

> (How he wishes he could still cloak himself in the arrogance of his youth.)

GINTOKI: Sometimes...

GINTOKI:

> (He looks up at the sky, so that he doesn't have to see Takasugi, even from the corners of his eyes.)

GINTOKI: I think it's all a dream.

GINTOKI: That I’m stuck in my head.

TAKASUGI:

> (So does Takasugi.)

TAKASUGI: Strange, isn't it.

TAKASUGI:

> (He's half convinced he's just some resentful spirit possessing his own corpse. What will happen, he wonders, when he runs out of things tying him to this world?)

TAKASUGI: ...Well, if we’re both dead, this isn't really how I imagine hell.

GINTOKI:

> (…)

GINTOKI: ...Not dead.

GINTOKI:

> (How to put it?)

GINTOKI: Just... dreaming.

GINTOKI:

> (Finally running away, after everything.
> 
> Every human has a limit… so they’d told him.)

TAKASUGI: Don't be so arrogant, Gintoki. You could never dream this.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki lets out a breath.)

GINTOKI: Yeah... that's what I hope too.

GINTOKI:

> (It's a beautiful day today as well.)

TAKASUGI: Hope? It's your stupidity that's the problem. Do you think you could imagine something beyond the edge of your sword?

GINTOKI:

> (And to think it used to be Gintoki’s job to deliver inspirational speeches as the hot-blooded shounen hero.
> 
> But it’s true, isn’t it?
> 
> Could he ever dream that he and Takasugi would be sitting here side by side like this?)

GINTOKI: At the very least...

GINTOKI:

> (He gazes at Takasugi, looking like he's looking at something both infinitely close and infinitely far at once. Things seem to settle, just a little bit.
> 
> His lips quirk into an amused smirk.)

GINTOKI: ...I don't think I could ever dream up a world where you tucked me into bed.

TAKASUGI:

> (……………………………………….)

TAKASUGI: ...Shut up. Who said I did that.

GINTOKI: No one.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi glares at him. That never happened. And will never happen again.)

GINTOKI:

> (He's missed this feeling... Something possibly like certitude, but most definitely like taking the piss out of Takasugi.)

TAKASUGI: It didn’t happen.

GINTOKI: Uh-huh.

TAKASUGI: You don't know shit.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki doesn't quite have the energy to laugh. But he exhales forcefully, and then looks away with something warm in his eyes, so it's close enough.)

GINTOKI: Sure.

TAKASUGI: _Sure._

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi mocks, but he knows he's mostly mocking himself. He mutters under his breath.)

GINTOKI:

> (Sometimes, Gintoki thinks that even if this were a dream, it wouldn't be so bad.
> 
> But on other days, he's reminded of how silly that line of thinking is.
> 
> It’s because you act so immature that I keep feeling old, he wants to say.)

GINTOKI: Wooow, so mature.

TAKASUGI: …

TAKASUGI:

> (You’re so annoying, Gintoki. It would be easy to call you a senile old man, but you're only senile in the way you treat the world like tissue paper. It won't break, you won't break--it's so simple.)

TAKASUGI: ...Just use the world like a box of tissues, if that's what it takes, Gintoki. Wipe your nose on it, then get another. Replaceable things aren’t worth the effort of crying over.

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki grows quiet at that.
> 
> He knows Takasugi is probably right, but...
> 
> He's afraid of tearing open the curtain and finding that there's nothing but brick wall behind it.
> 
> Between the two of them, who would’ve thought he’d be the one to actually succeed in destroying the world?)

GINTOKI: ...None of it's replaceable to me.

TAKASUGI: Coward.

TAKASUGI:

> (Takasugi says it fondly. This world he lives in now is filled with echoes from the future and the past. But he likes it like that... He’s lived haunted by the past for so long, but now some of those echoes can act as a salve to Gintoki’s wound? It's so strange, this world he lives in.)  
> 

GINTOKI: Coward, huh...

GINTOKI:

> (That day...
> 
> I trusted you to do all you could, regardless of the outcome.
> 
> I probably knew how it was going to turn out... but I had hope.
> 
> That great, terrible hope I had you carry on your shoulders...
> 
> I wonder if that was the brave or the cowardly thing to do?)

GINTOKI: ...Maybe you're right about that.

GINTOKI:

> (A series of chuckles that are little more than breath, and he lowers himself, flopping down onto the warm tiles of the roof.)

GINTOKI: But who knows?

TAKASUGI: …Were you even listening? I just told you.

TAKASUGI:

> (He carries so much of Gintoki, these days.
> 
> It’s not a bad feeling.)

GINTOKI:

> (Gintoki has entrusted them all with bits of himself. If he can't carry himself anymore, he knows that they can.
> 
> Through them, even if he forgets, even if he sinks into a dream... Sakata Gintoki lives on.)

TAKASUGI: For someone who's got nothing but hot air between his ears and a whole lot of tissue paper in his pockets, you sure are heavy.

TAKASUGI:

> (Even if he's a dead weight, it's fine, isn't it? They're on the roof already. However long they're both here… It's just a short, short step to the heavens.
> 
> He thinks he once claimed he'd reach the heavens atop a mound of corpses—
> 
> A rooftop is a much better place to see the sky.)

GINTOKI:

> (A very, very old memory of a sunset.
> 
> "Sheesh... you sure are heavy..."
> 
> He thought he’d forgotten.)

GINTOKI: ...Heh.

GINTOI: Must be all the parfaits.

 

**Author's Note:**

> These scenes don't necessarily happen in chronological order. Sorry if it's confusing! 2018 was the beginning of my life period of Complete Self-Indulgence.


End file.
